Family Relation Week 3

 This week in my family relations class, we talked about family dynamics. In class we had a demonstration of a little therapy session with a mom, dad, and young child who suffers from athsma attacks. Our teacher demonstrated how sometimes before getting to the actual problem itself, you can start off by just learning about the individual people. He was making connections with them. He asked what they do in a day. He asked about their personal struggles and worries, before even talking about the asthma. In just that little time of asking small questions, we learned that the mom and dad seem distant. The dad isn't around often, leaving the mom to do most of the work at home. The dad feels guilty about that, and is constantly worried about their son. The son seems to be closer to the mom, or at least rely on her more. He found all that out just by asking out their average day. You can learn a lot about someone and their relationships, by asking simple question. He was able to point out some of the observations made, and it allowed the husband and wife to see things differently. To look at things in each other's perspectives, and see what they are feeling and struggling with. It can make you feel more compassion and sympathy for the other person. It's a nice way to look at things, and I actually believe that if you applied that to your life, it could turn so many issues around. Learning to see things in more than one way, and see what the people around you are feeling would be beneficial in many situations.

We also talked a lot about the family systems theory. We learned about how the behavior of each family member defines your family unit. We talked about how each person has a different role in the family, and they all interconnect, and affect one another. There is a lot of influence held by each family member. I really liked the cake analogy, that was in some of our reading. There are a bunch of ingredients, eggs, flour, sugar, vegetable oil, that work together to make something beautiful, a cake. But one thing cake greatly effect all the others. The wrong amount of baking soda, even by just a little, will cause the cake to rise or fall improperly. Just like the actions, or attitude of one family member, influences everyone else.

Our teacher asked us in class this week, what's your role in the family? Are you the rebel, or the mini mom or dad? Are you the peacemaker, or the provoker? Every family has these different roles. Even as you list off some roles, most people probably have a person pop into their mind. I know I did. It makes me think of my own family. It changes at different times, but we always seem to have one rebel child. The one who chooses to live their life without the same standards or behaviors we learned growing up. Then there is my sister who never seems to be involved in the family drama. She keeps out of it and is just always on good terms with everyone. Then my other sister, who is a total mini mom. Then my parents who are the leaders of the family. And another sister who seems to love provoking people. There are many roles, and they seem to change over time. If one person starts to change their behavior, another one sometimes takes their role on. It's interesting, because in my own life I can see it. I can see how we all influence each other. I can take what we are learning in class and actually use it in my personal life.