Family Relations Week 9

 In class this week we talked a lot about stress, and how that can effect your relationships. The truth is, it is easy to keep things running smoothly when nothing ad is happening. It is when the trials and difficulties come that we really need to put what we have learned to the test. That is when things actually get hard. It makes me think of wat my mom always used to say to me when I was growing up, "It is easy to be nice to someone when they are being nice to you. It is a lot harder to be nice to someone when they are being mean to you, and that is when it really counts." There are reasons for our hardships and our tests. That is when your true character comes out. When you are stressed out, you are way more likely to be irrigatable, short tempered, and blame the people around. That is not very healthy for a relationship, specifically a marriage, but any relationship applies to that. It can be a lot harder to think of your partner when your mind is just so cluttered and overwhelmed. That is why it's so important that we learn to deal with it and handle our stress in a healthy way that does not damage your relationships. 

In class we talked about how stress can strengthen or break a relationship. That stuck out to me. It made me think of my own personal experiences. Now I am not married, and I also have never been in a serious relationship, so my experiences are slightly different than what we discussed in class, but it came to my mind and I thought I should share it. In my senior year of high school I had a friend who I got really close with. We started to hang out pretty much everyday, and it was very clear to everyone in our lives that we liked each other. He asked me out, and we went on one date. It ended badly. He was nervous, and started rambling. He said some things that bothered me, and the conversation just didn't go to well. We weren't yelling or even really arguing, it just wasn't what I thought would happen. I started over thinking everything. He was extremely close with my family and I didn't want to deal with them being so involved.  I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I didn't know how to be in a relationship with someone. There were so many thoughts going through my mind. I let my mind run wild, and I was super stressed about it. Instead of handling it the right way, communicating my concerns, and talking it out, I shut down. We had been friends for years, and after that night I decided I didn't want to be around him anymore. It wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't fair to me. I handled it in an immature way, and ended up ruining that relationship. So when we were talking about stress and how it can really impact the relationships in your life I knew that I needed to hear that and learn from it.

When you are in a relationship, and you go through hard things, it causes stress. But when you can figure out how to go through them together, you end up stronger for it. Don't shut down. Communicate your feelings and your frustrations. Come up with solutions together. And don't forget that you love your partner, and be patient with them.